The Curtain Should Have Stayed Closed

First and foremost, I would like to thank the Academy for sabotaging my Sunday night with one of the most uninspired and awkward award shows of all time.

From the onset of the three-and-a-half hour “spectacular,” when a stagehand apparently named Steve struggled to open the crystal curtains in time for the first of a seemingly endless stream of montages, the 81st Annual Academy Awards was a disaster. The once proud event has become more reminiscent of big-budget, straight to DVD movie.

In retrospect, Steve should have kept the curtain closed.

The 2009 Oscars seemed stray from the Academy’s historical, fundamental objective of show, honoring the art of filmmaking and the individuals who work so hard to make it possible.

Instead, the show often times felt like an extravagant TMZ knockoff, particularly when the camera not once, but twice cut to a close up of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie during Jennifer Aniston’s on-stage segments.

During a tribute to the nominated cinematographers, Ben Stiller appeared on stage dressed like the grizzly bearded Juaquin Pheonix and proceeded to imitate Phoenix’s now infamous David Letterman interview. While Stiller was amusing, he took the act too far and continued his antics well into the montage honoring cinematographers. Instead of paying their respects to the often times overlooked masters of cinema, both the audience and camera focused on Stiller’s exploits, denying the nominees of their moment in the spotlight.

At other times, the producers appeared as if they had been emulating the bumbling stoners from “Pineapple Express” during the show’s preparations.

The randomly placed song and dance number was reasonable in theory but was executed dreadfully. It seemed to last longer than a double viewing of “Benjamin Button” and “Titanic.” And then Disney’s “High School Musical” stars arrived. Did the Nickelodeon Awards already book the Jonas Brothers? The whole segment came across as forced filler and any momentum Hugh Jackman had build up with his stellar musical opening was slain.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse, Queen Latifah emerged to spoil the typically touching in memorandum segment. No offense to the Queen, whose display of acting prowess in classics such as “House Party 2,” “Scary Movie 2” and “Barbershop” have cemented her place in Oscar lore, but with Alicia Keys and Beyonce Knowles in the Kodak Theatre, there must have been a better option.

The 81st Oscar’s most conspicuous flaw, however, was Heath Ledger’s posthumous nomination and triumph in the best supporting actor category. His brilliant depiction of The Joker carried the “The Dark Knight” and was unquestionably one of the top five male performances of 2008. Because antagonists have obtained the leading actor nod before, notably Anthony Hopkins portrayal of Hannibal Lector in “Silence of the Lambs,” it is inexcusable to deprive Ledger of his due recognition.

While the Joker may have been snubbed, but it was the 81st Annual Academy Awards that proved to be the real joke.